You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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