ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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