if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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