Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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