shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
