She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
