I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize