WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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