I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
