My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
