can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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