I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
