he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
