I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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