I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
