then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
