he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
