everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
