I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
