so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
