i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
