she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
