Where did you get a picture of my penis
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
