I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
