I hate your face
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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