My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
