Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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