Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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