I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize