I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
