i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
