Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
