just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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