just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
