sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
