i would punch a child for taco bell
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
