its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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