Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I supernannyed him into submission
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
