i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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