capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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