Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
