Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
