turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
