Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
