I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
