you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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