It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
