im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
