i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize