Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
