Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
