I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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