I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
