I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
