once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
