I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
