so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
