I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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