So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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